Sometimes it feels as if there’s a space in my life forever longing to be filled. A space which only you could fill and every day I often wonder if that missing part of me will ever feel whole again. Then I remember it’s not actually missing. I remember that you’re always there, watching over me. Still and forever a part, a space, in me.

I wish we wouldn’t dare to let anyone sit and judge our physicality or base who we are on external appearance. They do not know your suffering, your selflessness, your giving, your purity, your love. Our beauty comes from within. It comes from inside, and somehow that always seems to be lost, forgotten and unheard.

If only we all realized we are so much more than what we look like and we need to stop holding beauty higher than heart. The ego of a vast majority of this word does not have the right to dictate your beauty or your worth. You are light and you are love, and as long as you’re here, your purpose is being served, know that. You are more than just a walking being. Honor yourself even though those around you may have lost what matters more. Know who YOU are inside, and what counts. The things, no matter how seemingly insignificant that no one else sees and knows, but you, that’s who you are. Do not take on the imprints of another or shame yourself because they are too lost to see your truth. You are divine and you have a purpose. We all deserve to live.

Though beautiful, you did not serve this world with your looks. With your golden hair or with your huge gazing eyes. You served this world with your heart. A heart which will forever live on in mine.

If only you knew how much you served this world. How much your light was seen, how much your heart was known and how your soul was cherished. You would be astonished if you knew how many peoples lives you touched, in so many wonderful ways.
You were always enough. More than you believed and more than you would ever accept to know.

Like the moon, you went through dark periods and you hid yourself. I wish our dark periods could have matched and crossed, and that way we could have breathed in the grass and looked at the night sky, because the stars would have reminded us of the beauty in our struggles, and maybe then we wouldn’t have felt so lost. But knowing you found that place, a place of peace, peace you forever longed and one day dreamed of having. You were found.

I’ve never really believed that the world wants to be saved. I believe it wants to be loved, and that’s how it shall be saved.
The same for us humans.

Two years on and there’s not a single day which passes were your existence is forgotten. You’ll always be a part of me and I know one day I’ll see you again and were dance the night away until our feet fall off, just like we used to.
I don’t really think I will ever come to terms with the reality that hit so many of us, but what I do know is that where ever you are you’ve escaped and you’re free, and you deserve that.

I miss you more than words will ever be able to comprehend.

Fri som en fågel. I love you Toots X



One thought on “XIV.X.XII

  1. This is so beautiful. Although I did not know Tallulah personally, we have mutual friends, she is greatly missed. Such a loss, I hope you are okay, stay strong she is looking over you xx


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